What The Heart Wants
by PrincessAletheia
Summary: JJ ends up things with Will, but doesn't have the courage to tell Rossi how she feels. But life has other plans than leaving her alone. Can Rossi convince her that he loves her?


_**A/N: My second JJ/Ro story, written with the co-operation of my muses Persephone, Pandora and Eurydice, as they all wanted to be involved and my laptop Wilbur, who is momentarily recovering from five horrible viruses and I'm very happy to have him back. :)**_

_**This story is dedicated to Tracia (ilovetvalot). I wish you everything good this world has to give and more! You deserve it! **_

_**Disclaimer: *sighs* nope, still not mine. And as I'm engaged to Sean Hotchner now, marrying Ed to get the rights is not an opportunity anymore, unfortunately. **_

JJ stared down at her dress. This should be the happiest day of her life, the entrance to neverending love and luck, so why did it feel so wrong?

She had tried hard to figure it out. The church was beautifully decorated in white and peach, small roses were placed everywhere, their sweet scent filling every corner. The morning sun shone brightly throught the huge windows, illuminating everything in it's soft golden light, gliding over the smooth dark wood, the empty hallway, taking in the scenery in front of it as if blessing what was to happen here soon.

Standing in it's warm rays, JJ's skin was glowing, her hair appeared golden. She had never looked more beautiful. And had never felt more miserable.

This place was everything she had dreamed of, the perfect location and it had taken her so long to find it. The weather was amazing, after endless weeks of rain, the sun had decided to finally come out again, enlightening her wedding day in the most beautiful way.

She was surrounded by her family, her friends, all the people she loved and it meant the world to her. It was simple, but it was enough, all she could wish for.

And if this was her wish, if this was perfection, then why was she standing in the sun and trembling, trembling, barely able to suppress her tears? Why?

Her arms were wrapped around her petite frame, she couldn't tell anyone and had to comfort herself. After working with profilers for that long, she had become incredibly good at hiding, knowing how to fool them all. Except for one.

Suddenly, it dawned to her. Deep in her heart, she probably had known all the time, but hadn't accepted the truth, however inevitable it had seemed.

She was about to marry Will. Without loving him. The one she wanted, the one she loved, was David Rossi. It had always been him.

As soon as JJ had realized the reason for her misery, it all seemed to be too much. The perfection, the warmth, the love surrounding her was something she would have enjoyed thoroughly any other day, but right now, it felt just wrong. She had to get out of here, quickly, before she made the biggest mistake of her life.

Not knowing what to do, but knowing she had to do something, she rushed over to where Hotch, Emily and Morgan were standing, involved in a conversation about work, but trying to hide it, as it didn't seem appropriate for this occasion. They looked up when she approached them.

"Hey JJ, are you ready for your big day?", Morgan smiled. She nodded half heartedly. "Emily, can I talk to you in private? Now?"

"Of course, JJ", Emily replied, wondering what this was about. "Are you okay?", she asked, gently placing her hand on her friend's arm once they were alone. "JJ?"

"No. No, I'm not okay, Emily. I can't explain it to you right now, but I need you to do me a favor. A really big one and I swear, I will make it up to you, but please, help me!"

Shocked by the despair audible in JJ's voice, Emily hastily agreed.

"I need you to cancel the wedding. No questions. I will explain everything later, but for now, I have to get out of here. Can you do that for me, Emily?"

Emily, as good at compartmentalizing as ever, nodded quickly. "Sure, JJ. Is there anything else I can do? Do you need anything? Shall Garcia and I come with you? Or all of us? Or..."

"No", JJ cut her off, "I just need to get out of here. Thank you Emily, but I need to be alone for some time. I need to think."

"Of course", Emily said, though JJ could clearly see how worried she was and that she wasn't happy with her decision of wanting to be alone. But JJ didn't have the strenght to deal with her friends worries right now, she needed to leave before Will could talk to her.

Without ever looking back, she grabbed her purse and her keys, as tears welled up in her again, she raced to her car, jumped in and drove away, not minding the speed limit at all, she just had to leave!

After what felt like an eternity, she finally pulled over. She had no clue where she was, but she couldn't have cared less. Crying hard, she got out, letting herself sink against a tree, sobbing, sobbing, why did this have to hurt so bad? Why was it her heart that had to be broken? Why?

She jumped up when she heard footsteps approaching her and she was shocked to see who it was. _God no. Everyone, but not him! I can't do that right now._

David Rossi slowly came closer. When Hotch had told him that JJ had cancelled the wedding, a wedding he had found hard to attend in the first place, he hadn't been shocked in the slightest. He probably should have done so. He probably should have been sorry. But he couldn't stop feeling hopeful, and thinking that maybe, maybe, it wasn't too late. That's why, despite of what everyone had told him, he had to go and find JJ.

"JJ", he said and she turned around, causing Dave to stop dead in his tracks when seeing the despair and sadness in her eyes, looking so heart broken and it was the most cruel feeling he had ever experienced, seeing her in such pain.

They stared at each other, a second was forever, and forever was a second and eventually, Dave stepped closer to her.

JJ tensed, wrapping her arms around herself again. "I'm so sorry", she blurted out, "but I couldn't, I just couldn't do it. Everything felt so wrong, Dave. I couldn't marry him."

Within a heartbeat he was by her side, taking her hands into his, urging her to look at him.

"JJ, there is no need to be sorry. You did what you felt was best for you and there is nothing wrong about that. You made the right decision."

"I know, Dave, I know."

"Then what is bothering you? I can see that there is something else, JJ, so don't try to hide it. Please be honest with me. There is nothing you can't tell me, JJ."

She stared at him. _If you only knew, Dave. But I can't, I can't tell you that._

JJ shook her head. "You're right, there is something else, but I can't tell you or anyone else for that matter. I haven't found a way to deal with it myself and just can't share it with anyone, so please, don't try to force me. I can't do that right now."

"I would never try to force you, JJ! But I would like to help you. Please let me help you. Maybe together we can figure out a way to deal with what is bothering you."

She tilted her head, considering how much she could possibly tell him. He was right, and she knew it, he just wanted to help. But he was the last person she could tell about the real reason of her misery.

"Dave...there is another man in my life. He has been all the time, without even knowing it. And today, I was thinking about my life with Will and I realized, I could never love him like...like this other man. It wouldn't be fair to do that to Will. And I couldn't do it to myself."

Dave leaned against a tree, still holding her hands. He was torn between hope and despair.

"That is perfectly reasonable, JJ", he said hoarsely.

She looked down at their entangled fingers. It felt so right, so meant to be and it tore her apart, how much she wanted this to be real but she knew, he couldn't ever feel the same for her.

"Tell me"Dave said, for some strange reason, he needed to hear it, "tell me about this other man."

"He...he is strong and I mean, not just physically. He has a strong personality. He is humorous. Gentle. And caring. He makes me feel safe like no one else does. Whenever I am down on the ground, he pulls me up and won't leave my side until I can stand by myself again. I love the way he smiles. I love the way he talks. I love him. I love him and he doesn't even know about it", she said and stepped away from Dave, sobbing into her hands.

This was too much. How could she possibly stand here any longer, next to the man she had loved since the first time her eyes had met his? This was killing her, took her breath away, her body ached and before she realized what happened, her knees weakened and if it hadn't been for Dave's fast reaction, she would have fallen to the ground.

But being there, in his arms, close to him without really being close to him, was worse than anything else. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, her back pressed against his chest and what she had been dreaming of every night turned into a nightmare. She loved him more than anything else in the world, but couldn't bring up the courage to tell him, being convinced he couldn't love her anyway.

Dave held her close, and with every minute that passed by, the more of her scent he inhaled, the longer he held her in his arms, he became more jealous and aware of the fact, that if he wouldn't tell her how he felt now, it would be too late. The thought of another man than him holding JJ was too much to bear.

JJ tried to escape out of his embrace, feeling as if she was burning up inside. But he kept holding her tight.

"Dave, let me go! Please, let me go."

"No, JJ, I can't."

"Damn it, Dave", she screamed in pain, more tears rolling down her cheeks, "you have to let me go!"

"I could never let you go, JJ. I love you."

Within one second, everything went quiet and JJ felt as if world was holding its breath, while she found it hard to breathe herself.

"What did you say?", she whispered, not daring to speak any louder, afraid her voice could destroy the illusion. Had he really just said that he loved her? That couldn't be true!

"I said I love you, JJ. I love you. More than anything else in the world. I love you!"

She turned around in his arms, silent tears covering her face, still trembling. And it took her only one look into his eyes to know that he was telling the truth.

JJ started sobbing again, this time out of relief, burying her head on his shoulder. Dave softly stroked her back. "It's okay, my love. It's okay. I got you."

She lifted her head up to look at him again. "I love you too, Dave. I never thought that I could ever tell you. That you could love me. But I couldn't marry another man, Will is a good guy, but he is not you and I couldn't do this to him. He deserves to find someone who truly loves him and I..."

"You deserve that too", Dave softly interrupted her. "How could you think I wouldn't love you, JJ?"

He leaned his forehead against hers and pulled her into him even more, feeling her heartbeat next to his, calming him down and evoking a sudden peace in himself. Never had anything felt so right to him.

"It has always been you, JJ", he said and felt her pulling back lightly.

Feeling more content than ever before in her life, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "And it has always been you, Dave", she replied, smiling lightly and staring in amazement as he laughed out loud.

"I have no words for how I feel right now. I wish I would have told you earlier though, so you wouldn't have needed to go through this all. I am sorry, JJ."

"Don't be. If that is what had to happen in order for us being together, then it is a price I'll pay happily and without regret."

He stroked her cheek. "You know, that's one of the things I love you for. Somtimes, you look so innocent and people might underestimate you, but you've shown each of them how strong you are and whatever tragedy life throws at you, you'll get through it. I love you for this strenght. I adore you."

"You adore me? Since the moment I first met you I couldn't quit thinking how adorable you are. Your determination to help everyone is what attracted my attention in the first place."

He chuckled. "I am stubborn."

"Do you have any idea how glad I am that you are?"

He kissed her temple. "I am beyond happiness and I hope, you feel the same way too."

She snuggled into him. "It feels so unreal. Is it really only half an hour ago that I was crying my heart out about what I thought I could never have? Three hours ago that I left the church? And are you really here? It all seems like a dream to me."

"I would love to make your dream come true, JJ. Let's make this day unforgettable, make it so wonderful, that no one will ever believe us when we tell them."

She looked up. "What do you mean?"

Although his heart protested, he pulled back, emerging from her embrace. She looked as lost as he felt without her. But it was necessary, even if only for a few minutes. He got down on one knee.

"JJ, you were supposed to get married today. There is a church. There are all the guests, our friends, our family. You're already wearing this dress. Everything was there and now you have a man who loves you more than his own life."

He pulled her hand to his lips, kissing it gently. She stared at him in astonishment.

"JJ", he whispered huskily, "marry me. Let's not waste another second of our lives. We have been waiting for so long and it had nearly been too late. I don't want to spend even a single day without you anymore, I want you in my life forever and I want forever to start right now. Please marry me."

Instead of answering, JJ pulled him to his feet, throwing her arms around his neck, pulling his head down to her and tenderly kissing him. And she wondered how she had ever been able to live without him, as if she had felt incomplete before, always a part of her missing, but now everything had fallen into place. It was pure luck and love, it was perfection and more.

The team jumped up when JJ and Dave approached them in their cars, rushing towards them. Garcia hugged JJ tightly as soon as she had left the car. "I'm so sorry that it didn't work out with Will, JJ, you must feel so sad. Or angry? Why didn't it work out, JJ? Did he hurt you?", Garcia asked and JJ could see Hotch and Morgan tensing. She actually chuckled.

"Don't worry, Will hasn't done anything to me. He wasn't the one and for both our sake I wish I would have realized that sooner, but I'm not sad. In fact, I am beyond happiness", she said and smiled at Dave.

"You are?" Emily asked.

"Yes, I am", JJ whispered. Not taking her eyes off of Dave for one second, she reached for his hand, their fingers entangling automatically, as if they never had done something else in their life.

"Oh", Reid said, obvioulsy surprised, "what does that mean?"

"It means, we have a wedding to attend", Dave explained, not being able to take his eyes off of JJ either and not wanting to.

"My congratulations", Hotch said, his dimples showing up, "I'm glad you realized it before it was too late. I can't believe we haven't seen that coming."

"Nor have we", Dave said, "it was only when we were about to lose it, that we realized what we have."

"Wow", Morgan grinned, "and how long exactly have you been in love? That must have been a long time coming, as you are already going to get married."

"Forever", JJ and Dave replied in unison, not knowing what else to say. How do you explain eternity, after all, seeing someone and feeling as if you had known him for all your life long, it was like coming home, everything had suddenly fallen into place, like pieces of a puzzle, incomplete, but now that they were together, it all made sense.

How do you explain knowing every little detail about someone, being able to talk about him for a week without ever mentioning his name?

How do you explain that? How do you explain a love, that is greater than you, takes your breath away, leaves you senseless, that is something you don't even understand yourself.

You can't explain it. You can't fight it. You can only surrender and live the feeling.

It was at sunset, as they both sat on the porch of Dave's cabin, watching night falling over the world, calm and soft, and for the first time in her life, JJ didn't feel lonely anymore around this time, as the dark clouds covered the sky and a cold breeze made her shudder, she didn't feel lonely.

Instead, she snuggled closer into Dave's arms, his warmth, his scent, all that making her feel safe and loved. JJ looked up at him, lightly stroking his cheek.

"Penny for your thoughts", she said softly.

He chuckled. "It may sound strange, but I wasn't thinking. For all my life long, I have been restless, always felt like on the run, I couldn't help but pushing myself further and further, but now that I am with you...I wasn't thinking. You've been putting my mind at ease, darling. I never knew this was possible. I never knew it would feel so good. But when being with you, I don't want to think, all I want to do is feel."

"Well then, what do you feel, Dave?"

He quickly kissed her and felt her smiling against his lips.

"I feel invincible. Vulnerable. Today, a dream I felt I've been dreaming for all my life long has come true. I can't believe I finally have you in my life, JJ. You calm me down and set me on fire. When I am with you, everything seems brighter, you enlighten my world. Falling in love with you had been so easy and I loved you more and more with each day that passed by. You are my world, my life, my heart, my soul. You are everything that matters and will ever matter. I love you more than words can ever say."

JJ pulled his head down to hers again, kissing him passionately until she was seeing stars and had to come up for air, breathing heavily.

"I love how just one look of you can make me feel safe and protected. When my world is falling apart, it only takes the sound of your voice to calm me down. From the first time I saw you I knew you were the love of my life, as strange as that sounds, I didn't even know you then but I felt as if I did. Being close to you is like a drug, I feel loved, strong, beautiful, more than ever, and I can't get enough of it. I love what you make me feel. My world feels so empty and cold without you and when I was about to get married to Will today, I knew I couldn't stand feeling like this for the rest of my life. I was desperate, I didn't have the courage to tell you, but your determination paid off. I love you for being so stubborn. I love you for not doing what you're expected to do. I can't imagine having to spend another day without you, not being close to you, kissing you, loving you. You are the black hole in the universe, and I'm the star, drawn to you, swallowed by you and I couldn't care less. You are everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed. My love for you is stronger than anything I've ever felt, but I'm not afraid anymore. When being with you, I feel like we could rule the world. I love you Dave."

Their lips met again, becoming more passionate with every second that went by. Finally, Dave stood up, lifting JJ into his arms.

"Mrs. Rossi, I've told you how I felt, how about you let me show it to you now?"

"I would love that", JJ whispered huskily, and no more words were needed that night, as they made love, again and again and as they fell asleep, their arms wrapped around each other, life finally seemed the way it should be.

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you think.**_


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